Written by CONNSACS' Victim Survivor Advisory Council
Sexual Assault is...
More common than you think. Unacceptable. Violent. Not about sex. Not my fault.
Happening to someone you know. Something you can change. A crime that hurts the soul. Ugly. Never forgotten. A lifelong assault. Leaving millions silently screaming. Worse than your worst nightmare. Humiliating. Reality. Not going away. True memory syndrome. Stealing our children/childhood. Touches every aspect of your life. All-consuming. Not just something that happens to women. Affects your tax money. Costs more than money. Painful. WRONG. Doesn't end when physical injuries heal. Deeper than physical scars. Spiritual rape. Threatening. Disgusting. A nightmare that never ends. A rude awakening. Unforgivable. Sickening. Your responsibility. In the family... and in the church. Perpetuated by the community. Perpetuated by silence. Still there when you close your eyes. Something that can happen to you. Committed by "regular" guys, and women, too. Sexual assault on TV is not entertainment. Sexual violence is not suitable for an advertising campaign. Recognize violent images as violent. Notice when non-consensual sex is used to sell you something. Sexual assault is not a joke.
Once you have been sexually assaulted you
may never...
Look at life the same way. Look at relationships the same. Trust the same. Get your childhood back. Forget. Feel completely safe again. Feel completely clean again. Want to go there again. Believe your children are safe. Believe that your body is yours. Believe that you can say no. Be unprepared for another attack. Understand how people can make jokes about it. Walk alone (until you break the silence). Feel comfortable walking into an emergency room again. Feel comfortable walking into a doctor's office again. A simple thing like an annual exam becomes torture. Be the same person that you were before.
What you can do to end
sexual violence...
Do's:
Break the Silence. Talk about it. Understand that no means no--not maybe.
Believe it happens. Educate your children. Listen, even if you don't want to.
Remember if it happened to you. Donate money to CONNSACS. Call the hotline (888) 999-5545. Volunteer at your local sexual assault service. Speak up when someone makes a joke about it. Share your story with a friend so they know they've seen the face of a survivor. Confront sexism wherever you see it. Report what you know is wrong. Listen to your children. If you're raping your children, STOP IT NOW! Children and partners are not possessions, they are a gift. Recognize the crime. Believe it’s a crime. Support the victim. Report suspected abuse. Read about it. Educate yourself. Educate your friends, family, partners, and community. Ask your church to write a policy prohibiting sexual abuse. Ask your school board to provide education programs to teachers and students. Believe you can help. Learn how to make a difference. Know that one person can make a difference. Forget the stereotypes.
Realize perpetrators can be...
Nice people the people you least expect, your high school football team, local clergy, your school principal, someone you know, someone you trust.
Don'ts:
Don't turn your back. Don't blame the victim. Don't get sensitized to gratuitous violence on TV. Don't pretend it doesn't happen. Don't minimize. Don't reject the victim. Don't call it consensual. Don't say they're lying. Don't ask: are you sure?
Don't turn your back. Don't let fear keep you silent.
